alinabeena11

So. It's finals week, I have a horrible history final the day after tomorrow and I've hardly even begun to study.

This is bad.
Very bad!

I usually start at least 2 weeks before midterms & finals because my memory is so awful and needs lots of reminding and prodding and coercing and manipulating to remember anything. But this time I just can't seem to summon up that necessary desire or panic (yet) and am just wasting time on silly things like Facebook and Gossip Girl. Mmnnngghh.

I'm drinking some of that Swiss Miss powdered hot chocolate, which is something I haven't done in a while. It doesn't even taste like hot chocolate to me anymore...this quarter I've been spoiled by the delicious hot chocolate with whole milk and whipped cream at Parnassus. Oh man. That stuff is like heaven in drink form. Especially the first few sips where the whipped cream is half dissolved into the chocolate and it becomes this perfect chocolatey cream concoction that's sweet and rich but at the same time light and fluffy... Yeah, I know--I have quite a way with words. hahaha. But you get the picture.

A couple of days ago I bought a nice big canvas (22"x30" ish) and am working on a painting of Lake Colchuck. It's going to be a Christmas present. ^-^ The lake is gorgeous in real life, a kind of dark greenish teal color (pthalo green + cerulean :-) and the surrounding mountains are amaaazing as well. And it's such a relief to do a painting just for fun, without my mean mean painting teacher snapping at me over my shoulder all the time ("This is a disaster!! Your whole technique is WRONG!").. I love just experimenting with the colors.. there are so many beautiful blues and greens to work with. Mmmm. *shivers* But MAN, I should REALLY NOT START art projects when I have finals coming up!!! Because now all I can think about is working on it! I stayed up half the night just thinking about painting and art.. and maybe trying to sell some of my old stuff at Lemolo or O'Grady's Pantry... I seriously obsessed over this until like 3 am, could NOT get to sleep.. And yeah. Sometimes I really hate how prone my mind is to obsessiveness.. ever since like third grade it's been either various arts/crafts or projects or boys...lol... And, yeah, there are definitely times when that's good. Sometime in the past few years, I realized I could harness that obsessive power and USE it.. like for those painted chairs...they took 30-40 hours apeice and I did each one in about a week...which now seems crazy to me, I usually get impatient long before that.. but anyway, I was so freaking excited about those chairs that I barely slept, and I love how they turned out.. largely because there was so much energy put into them.. So yeah, times like that, the frenzied state of mind is great...but UGH. there are times when it latches on and won't let goooo...like one of those Amazonian caniru fish that use their protruding spines to attach themselves to swimmers' genetalia and live off their blood and can only be removed through surgery (if that is even true, I dunno..) but YEAH, it's like that!  and hmm, you know, I would love to continue this train of thought BUT I keep glancing over at that canvas...it's calling to me...

 

FUCK I need to study!!

Hm.

Painting...
Studying...

paaaainting.....

Yup. I'm going to FAIL. :(((

It's been such a long time.  Do you remember me?  No...?  Huh.  Yeah.. I was that one girl who wrote you a bunch of rambly, angsty, melodramatic  posts back in high school. 
That doesn't narrow it down?
Hmm. 
Well, let me see.
I guess there's not really much else to say...

There was nothing too exciting about my last journal here.  I seriously doubt there will be anything even remotely exciting on this one, either.  But lately I've been hankering to write to you, LJ my old friend, and it just feels weird doing it in that three-year-old stale whiny journal from back in the day.  Turning over a new leaf, you know.  I certainly haven't become a better person since then, or a more mature person, or even a less whiny person, but things have changed, and while I still am that person who wrote you so long ago, I'm quite different as well. 

So...where to begin? 

Well, it's finals week, and I'm looking for just about any way to put off studying architecture history and painting an awful self-portrait (which looks like a sickly rainbowed alien at this point....it's actually sitting in my room... right next to me, in fact....staring...with those dark, soul-less eyes...and that terrifying skin...puke green and bright yellow and grape-ish purple splotched randomly all over...and those eyes....OH GOD those EYES!) Anyway, I really should be studying.  Well, it was nice talking with you again, LJ.  I hope we'll have some good one-sided rambling conversations in the near future. 

Oh, and if anyone wants for some reason to friend me, go right ahead.   :-)

yup yup yup.

I'll leave you with this silly comic I saw today..


TEE HEE ^_^